The Public Restroom
at El Gomboleya Market
Cairo • Arab Republic of Egypt
Established 1974
I. Concerning the Facility
Beneath the awnings of El Gomboleya Market, past the spice men and the second row of the fruit stalls, there stands a doorway of blue and white tile through which some four hundred souls pass each day. It is not marked on any municipal map. It requires no advertisement. Those who know, know.
A Short History
The facility was opened in the autumn of 1974 by the Market Sanitary Committee, replacing an earlier structure of corrugated tin which had served since the mandate period and which is remembered by nobody with fondness. The present building was laid out with six cubicles, a wash colonnade of four basins, and an attendant's alcove, and these dimensions have never been altered. The floor is the original terrazzo. It has been polished by hand, on hands and knees, every Thursday evening for fifty-two years.
Guiding Principle
“A market may be judged entirely by its washroom.”
— inscribed above the attendant's alcove
II. Amenities of the House
| Amenity | Particulars |
|---|---|
| Six Cubicles | Four of the seated pattern, two of the traditional. Doors of painted steel, each with a working bolt. Cubicle No. 3 is understood to be the coolest in summer and is not assigned lightly. |
| Wash Colonnade | Four basins of white porcelain beneath a single continuous mirror. Hot water from the second boiler, installed 1998, from six in the morning. |
| Two Electric Hand Driers NEW! | Installed March 2001. Wall-mounted, chrome finish, of Italian manufacture. Towels remain available for those who prefer them. |
| The Attendant's Alcove | Staffed without interruption during opening hours. Holds the towel press, the tariff board, the change tin, and the register of lost articles. |
| Ablution Bench | Separate, to the north side, with three low taps and a stone bench. Kept apart from the general traffic. Prayer mat available on request. |
| Ventilation | Cross-draught by way of two high louvres and a ceiling fan of four blades. The fan has turned since 1974 and has been rewound twice. |
| Lighting | Fluorescent throughout, with a paraffin lamp held in reserve in the alcove against interruption of supply. The lamp has been needed on nine occasions. |
| Seating for Waiting | A wooden bench in the vestibule, seating four, or five in a spirit of cooperation. |
| Register of Lost Articles | Maintained in a hardbound ledger since 1974. Spectacles, keys, prayer beads and one gold tooth are presently held. |
III. Attendant Services & Tariff
The tariff below is the one painted on the board in the alcove and is not subject to negotiation, seasonal adjustment, or the hour of the day. It has been revised four times since 1974. No service is refused for want of payment; the attendant keeps a slate, and the slate is settled when it is settled.
| Service | Description | Tariff |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Watching With Support | The attendant remains present for the whole duration and gives encouragement as the situation require. He does not look away and he does not hurry you. | 2 EGP |
| 2. Signature Service | After completion, wipe and application of water. Performed by the attendant to the standard of the house. | 5 EGP |
| 3. Clearing of Bowel Obstruction / Massage / Shoe Polishing (Italian) | Taken together or singly, at the bench, by arrangement with the attendant. The polish is Italian. | 15 EGP |
☞ Gratuities. The attendant does not solicit and will not remark upon a gratuity, but the saucer is on the counter and it is not there by accident.
IV. The Attendant's Creed
As attendant we are make oath to provide service in all uses for low prices in all days,, and we are gives our user the most maximal of respect what is possible and never spit him, curse him or think badly him.
V. Tip of Day
Tip of Day: Hard strain can cause hemorrhoid, if cannot pass stool (he have form of rock), please call to attendant for assist in all manner.
VI. Who Is Welcome
Whensoever a man need pass water, gases or solid from any orifice... he is welcome for enjoy.
VII. Guestbook
Entries are transcribed from the paper book kept on the alcove counter.
Came for the change. Stayed for the towel.
It is genuinely cooler. I have measured it. Bring a thermometer and see for yourself.
Cleaner than my kitchen. I do not say that lightly and I will not be saying it again.
Left my spectacles in 1997. They were in the ledger. They were still in the ledger.
