The Public Restroom
at El Gomboleya Market
Cairo • Arab Republic of Egypt
Established 1974
I. Concerning the Facility
Beneath the awnings of El Gomboleya Market, many mens have the rumblign of their digestive tube, especially after sampling wares and foods like "Bean with Food Poisoning", "Macaroni with Bean", and "Salmonella Covered Bean with Cheeses". This mans was wishes for long time that facility will becomed builded which he can relief himself, but he not dreamed it how it was be as today, THE MOST FINE OF FACILITY IN ALL MIDDLE EASTERN NORTH AFRICA region. Four hundred of mens is releif their intesitne here each day. It requires no advertisement. It require no sign. Those who are know, know.. who not - his aunt laugh at his inheritances.
A Short History
The facility was started his construct in the autumn of 1974 by the Market Sanitary and Defecatory Committee, replacing an earlier structure of corrugated tin and which was use for impromptu and unlicensed defacatory actions since the mandate periods. After begin teh glorious rulings of Tut Ankh Amun of our Time, Lion of Egypt, El-Sissy the Grand, the project terminated and finally El-Gomboleya become again envy and jalouse for the world entire. The present building is haver six defacatory chamber, a washery colonnade of four basins with water, and an attendant's shack with tipping jar, and these dimensions have never been altered. The floor is the original terrazzo. It have be polished by hands hands on hands and knees, every Thursday evening for since his opening by Mr. Grand Sissy when he shitted a very respect and large scatologue into the basin of washing and honore it 1 milliard honors.
Guiding Principle
“The man in market is like horse, when he is need excrete defecatory solids, he cannot think even 1 moment.”
— exalted speech Mr. President El-Sisy General Grand Pharaon of Egypt at opening ceremony and riband cutting (with knife)
II. Amenities of the House
| Amenity | Particulars |
|---|---|
| Six Defecatory Hole | All open air design with no wall/no door ... Hole No. 3 is understood to be the coolest in summer because breeze of window. Not need to flush. |
| Wash Colonnade | washing possible from six in the morning when water is run, this water potable and have been rate safe and 70% free of human refuse. |
| Two Electric Hand Driers NEW! | Complete pride of Egypt. this Machine can blow into the hand and cause his dryness! Please deposit 2 EGP into receptacle and within some 30 minute air can begin to flow. |
| The Attendant's Alcove | A most respectful man inside, attend to you and your excretion in Arabic language service. |
| Ablution Bench | Close for renovation following terror attack by extremity group |
| Ventilation | Air is flow well with high vault rooof dome and a ceiling fan of four blades with rotationof electric motor. A window is exist and opened during some hours |
| Lighting | Paraffin lamp is use but natural lightings can enter for easing use. |
| Seating for Waiting | When too much peoples is us, then others sit in this bench of woods (DO NOT SHIT IN WAITING BENCH) |
| Register of Lost Articles | You are lose? Maybe acan find |
III. Attendant Services & Tariff
Price List for Foreign Exotic Visitor and Local Same and Equal by LAW of EGYPT. Guarantee.
| Service | Description | Tariff |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Watching With Support | The attendant present for the whole duration and gies ouragement as the situation require No rush. | 2 EGP |
| 2. Signature Service | After completion, wipe and application of water. Performed by attendant to the standard of the egypt LAW. | 5 EGP |
| 3. Clearing of Bowel Obstruction / Massage / Shoe Polishing (Italian) | The polish is Italian. | 15 EGP |
☞ Gratuities. The attendant tip jar is on the counter and it is not there in accident.
IV. The Attendant's Creed
As attendant we are make oath to provide service in all uses for low prices in all days,, and we are gives our user the most maximal of respect what is possible and never spit him, curse him or think badly him.
V. Tip of Day
Tip of Day: Hard strain can cause hemorrhoid, if cannot pass stool (he have form of rock), please call to attendant for assist in all manner.
VI. Who Is Welcome
Whensoever a man need pass water, gases or solid from any orifice... he is welcome for enjoy.
VII. Guestbook
Entries are transcribed from the paper book kept on the alcove counter.
Came for the change. Stayed for the towel.
It is genuinely cooler. I have measured it. Bring a thermometer and see for yourself.
Cleaner than my kitchen. I do not say that lightly and I will not be saying it again.
Left my spectacles in 1997. They were in the ledger. They were still in the ledger.
This Site Is Proud To Display
VISITORS SINCE 14 MARCH 2021
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